Seventh: You shall not commit adultery

Adultery

The Seventh Commandment is “You shall not commit adultery”.  Adultery is the sin of taking another man’s wife or another woman’s husband.  This is a very serious sin, especially for anyone who has been married in church and has taken the Christian marriage vows of lifelong loyalty.  The man vows to forsake all others and to be faithful to her, as long as they both shall live.  And the woman, for her part, takes the same oath regarding him.  So if one of them commits the sin of adultery by going off with someone else, he or she also commits the sin of breaking a vow which was solemnly made before God in the presence of witnesses.

The Catechism explains this commandment by saying, “To keep my body in temperance, soberness and chastity”. (1) We will consider them in that order.


Temperance

The word temperance is often used to mean drinking only a little alcoholic drink or drinking none at all.  But in the Catechism it has a much wider meaning, namely, self-control, having control over all the desires of the body.  Among these are the desires to eat, to drink and to sleep.  Our business is to see to it that our bodies do not eat too much, or drink too much or spend too much time in bed, and so make us greedy or lazy.  And we can also be greedy by being too fussy about food, by not liking this and not liking that, and always wanting something different from what we are given.  For greediness is really treating food as being much more important then it is.

Another thing to guard against is smoking.  Smoking has got such a grip on many people that they have lost the necessary will power to shake it off.  They have got to the stage when they cannot do without it, so that they can no longer be called free people.  It wastes their money and it affects their health, and those of other people who have to breathe their smoke.  Yet they find it very difficult to give up because they have become the slaves of their own bodies. 

People can become slaves to other things too.  For example, they may lose the ability to control the amount of alcohol they drink, or their gambling behaviour or the amount of time they spend playing computer games.  People can also become slaves to drugs which is one reason why you should avoid using illegal drugs or substances.

Self-control

We can compare our body and soul to a horse and its rider.  Temperance is making the horse do what the rider wants, and in particular stopping when it is told to.  Self-control is something which we should practise every day.  There is also one season in the year when we make a special effort to strengthen our wills and to increase our mastery of our body, and that season is, of course, Lent.  That is the chief purpose of giving up sweets and other pleasures at that time.  Jesus did exactly the same when, in preparation for his Ministry, he spent 40 days in the wilderness of Judea, only he went without food altogether.  In that way he proved himself the complete master of his body and made it his slave.  So we must make sure we become the masters and not the slaves of our bodies.


Soberness

“To keep my body in temperance, soberness…”  Soberness today is taken to mean the opposite of drunkenness, but in the Catechism it means steady conduct.  For example, it means not trying to attract the notice of others by shouting and singing in the street, but rather by behaving in an orderly way. 

Chastity

“Temperance, soberness and chastity”.  Chastity means purity in thought, word and deed.  All sins first begin as thoughts in the mind, and this is particularly true of sins against chastity.  So we must be on the look out and stamp on those thoughts as soon as they appear.  As regards impure or dirty talk, that is like so much filthy water thrown over a person’s soul. 

Our Lady is the great pattern for us all to follow.  You will have seen in many pictures of her a white lily as an emblem of her spotless purity.  For her soul was completely fair and pure, and that is one of the reasons why she went at once to Heaven when she left this life.  For Heaven, as you know, is where God is seen, and Jesus has told us that it is the pure in heart who will see God.

When temptation comes, we cannot do better than pray at once to Jesus and to Our Lady for help.  So we should lose no time in sending this prayer like an arrow to Heaven, “Jesus, help me, Mary pray for me”.

Saying “No”

One of the most important things is to be strong enough to say “No” when other people tempt you to do wrong.  Never feel forced into doing something you know to be wrong, even if people laugh at you.  It takes much more courage and character to say “No” and to walk away from temptation than it does to go along with the crowd.  So, for example, if someone tries to get you to take drugs, or get drunk, or to look at immodest pictures, or to have sex outside marriage – keep control of yourself and quietly but firmly say “No”.


SUMMARY

1. Temperance means self-control – being the master and not the slave of our body and its wants.

2. Soberness in the Catechism means steady conduct, for example, behaving in an orderly way in the street.

3. Chastity means purity in thought, word and deed.  Our Lady is the perfect human pattern of purity.

Reference

Church of England (1662) The Book of Common Prayer.  A Catechism.  Available from: http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/bcp/texts/catechism.html  (Accessed 20 August 2010) (Internet).