Fifth: Honour your father and your mother

Index

The Fifth Commandment is, “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you”.  And the Catechism explains this by saying, “To love, honour and succour my father and mother”.

Respecting our parents

To honour one’s parents means to treat them with respect and politeness – no cheeky answering back.  It also includes being obedient and doing what you are told as soon as you are told.  You’ll remember that one of the very few things we are told about Jesus when he was a Boy at Nazareth, was that he was subject to Mary his Mother and to Joseph his foster-father.  He treated them properly and did as he was told.


Helping our parents

To succour comes from a Latin word meaning to run to the help of.  So this Commandment teaches us to be quick to help our parents.  One way of doing this is, instead of making extra work for your parents in the home, to make less work.  Many of you probably already try and help, but maybe you could do a little more.  For example, you can help in the garden and you can help with the cooking.  You can help by laying the table for meals and clearing away afterwards, and by washing up and making your bed.  Another thing you should all remember to do, and that is to clear up after yourself when you have had things out.  Put the things away yourself, instead of leaving your mother or father to go round, when they are probably tired out, picking up a book here, a toy there and a coat somewhere else. 

But of course you still have a duty to your parents after you have left home.  You should, as I am sure you will, always keep in touch with your parents by writing or emailing, by phoning and by coming home to see them.  And when they are old, if they are then no longer able to look after themselves we should see they are properly cared for.

Praying for our parents

And, of course, we should pray for our parents every day all through our life, both while we are still at home and after we have left home.

And when the time comes for them to leave this world, we should pray for the repose of their souls, knowing that they are alive in that other world and need our prayers just as much then as now.  And we should also make sure that at the Requiem Eucharist on All Souls’ Day, they are remembered.  Many churches invite people to write the names of their relatives on a list so that they can be remembered and their names read out at the Eucharist.  And if you live near, you should see that their graves are kept neat and tidy.


Joseph in the Old Testament

We have a good example in Joseph in the Old Testament.  You will remember that Joseph was sold as a slave by his brothers and was taken by some merchants to Egypt where he eventually became governor over the whole land, and in time of famine was made Minister of Food.  But he did not forget his old father, Jacob, whom he had left behind in Palestine.  He sent wagons to bring his father and all his relations into Egypt, and there arranged with Pharaoh for them to live in the part of Egypt that would suit them best.

And when Jacob died in Egypt, Joseph kept his promise to him and took his body into Palestine and buried him in the family tomb at Mamre.  So Joseph remembered his old father for good.

SUMMARY

1. The Fifth Commandment teaches us to love our parents and to show it by being respectful and obedient to them.  To succour means to be quick to help them.

2. We should help them at home now, care for them when they are old, and pray for them every day of our life.